After you left, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

My Immortal - Evanescence
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designer Dancing Sheep
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I know I've been doing the wrong things
all these while, but what else can I do?
I mean, even if i start doing good things,
the result will still be the same...
I've been doing wrong things since I was
a kid, and all those painful memories
really hurt a lot when I'm reminded of
them.. But it's pain and bad experience
that makes a Person mentally strong, never
give up even when making wrong decisions..

All the bad things I've done and received
till now has taught me never to trust anyone
even friends, for no one, not even a person
that I considered my best friend.. can do a
simple thing for me. They will just keep
rejecting when I need help, because they are
afraid of the consequences, of whether will
what I am doing, affect them too.. Selfish isnt it?

Well, i think a lot of ppl would want me
to leave church now cause I've been giving
problems, and they want to help that person.
It's ok.. they have the right to choose who
they take as friends too. I will go, dont worry.
I will slowly disappear, and then this church
will be happy again, free from this trouble maker.

Labels: Why do I still love ppl who keep failing me..